I hate nosey and judgmental people. I'm an avid reader, and I mostly read books about religions and different religious beliefs. Last week I read the Qur'an and the week before that I was reading a couple books about Buddhism. I bring these books to work to read sometimes when things are slow. Well today I was reading a book called The Atheist Debater's Handbook by B.C. Johnson. This guy that works with me walks up to me and says, "What are you reading? I can't believe you're an atheist!" When I told him I'm actually not an atheist he says, "You have to come to church with me sometime. You can't be an atheist." First of all, I never said I am an atheist. I don't have a religion of my own (i.e., I'm not Christian, Buddhist, etc.), but I like to study other religions. That doesn't mean I don't believe in some deity or higher power. And second of all, who is he to tell me I CAN'T be atheist?! If I were atheist there's not a damn thing he nor anyone else could do about it. If he weren't being so nosey and minding my damn business he would've never known what I was reading in the first place. And if I were atheist those remarks would have been very offensive and I would've punched him in the face so hard that he would still be lying on the floor in the lobby. See, I don't want to offend anyone who may read this post, but I gotta vent. I have noticed that the people who call themselves Christians are the most judgmental people that I have ever met. They talk bad about people and put down on other religions. I saw a website, made by a white, middle-class "Christian" woman, called God Hates Fags. Now if you're supposed to "love thy neighbor" as the Bible says, how could you dare write something like that for all the world to see? I think it's absolutely disgusting. And Christians are the first people to try and condemn a person to hell. If hell and God do in fact exist, isn't God the only one who can condemn someone? Correct me if I'm wrong. I actually grew up in a Christian church and household, and the peple in my mom's church were the biggest heathens on this side of the universe. But they always wanted to gossip about what someone else in the church was doing that wasn't right. At first I thought that maybe they just needed to get a life, but every Christian I've met has been a hypocritical dickface (no offense to those Chrisitians who are in fact NOT hypocritical dickfaces). However, it's not only Christians who are judgmental. People of every religion are like this. Everybody thinks that their religion is THE religion to be a part of, and if you're not a part of it you're surely going to hell. Every reiligion teaches something almost totally different than the next one. There are so many religions, how are you supposed to know which one is the right religion? Is there even, in fact, a right religion? I don't think so. If there were a RIGHT religion, everybody would be a part of it. Christians say you should follow God, Muslims say the man is Muhammad, Jehovah's Witnesses say you should praise Jehovah, Buddhists say it's Buddha. Damn! How about I just do me? I have not been a part of organized religion for the past few years, and I'm in no big hurry to be a part of it. I'm content to just read about it.

False alarm! I'm not crazy, I've just been suffering from caffeine withdrawal. I didn't think Nestea had caffeine in it, and I've been drinking like 4-5 of them a day for a few months now. Well, a couple weeks ago I decided to go cold turkey and stop drinking them all together. Since then, I have been feeling horrible. When I went to see my physician yesterday, I found out that tea does have caffeine (unless it says decaf) and that my symptoms are a result of cafeine withdrawal because I quit so suddenly after having so many a day for so long. I still feel horrible, but I'm glad to know what it is.

I think I am going crazy. And this is no exaggeration, nor is this a "prank post". Okay, here's the deal. For the last two and a half weeks I have been getting these dizzy spells. Like, if I sit down for a long time I get this feeling like I'm falling down. My head starts spinning and it's like the room is moving. It's worse if I stand for a long time. I have been hearing shit. It's loud and clear to me, like someone said something in my ear or like it's a noise that's really close to me. But nobody else hears it. Out of my peripheral vision I have been seeing things move, but when I look there's nothing there. I have been having the worst, most debilitating, pounding headaches just about everyday.  At first I thought maybe I was exaggerating. But after almost three weeks, I know there is something wrong FOR REAL. I don't want to go and seek help from a physician because I am too embarrassed. What if the doctor tells me it's all in my head? I would be super humiliated. Delirium/manic disorders don't run in my family, but that doesn't mean I can't be the first crazy person to disgrace my family. I know that there's a possibility that maybe I'm just sick or something. I don't know. I feel like shit right now and I haven't been able to focus on anything school-related (and I'm usually the most studious person in the world). Sometimes I just try to sleep it off, but that only helps for so long. And it's getting worse and worse everyday.

I am so very sick right now. I have a headache of the worst kind and my stomach feels mucho queasy. And I started to feel bad all of a sudden today. Despite having a killer of headache, though, I still managed to ace my quiz in Japanese. はい! Anyways, what I really wanted to rant about is this stupid jerk I used to have a crush on. I'll call him "Dumb Ass". Well, last semester I told Dumb Ass that I liked him and he all but turned me down. Then to make matters worse, he started macking on this girl that I used to be really good friends with. I'll admit that I was kinda jealous at first, but then I realized that I could do better and didn't need him. Well, tonight he sends me a text asking me to come to his dorm room. I said sure, I'll come hang out. Then he asks if I'm too tired. I was like, "Too tired for what? We're just hanging out, right?" Then that pig texts back, "If you think so"! That pissed me off so badly because I all but spilled my heart to him and he turned me down. Now he's audacious enough to pretty much invite me over for some sex?!  Never in a million years will he so much as SMELL my vagina (sorry for the bluntness... I'm angry). So I sent him a text that read as follows: "You haven't been trying to kick it with me. Now all of a sudden you want me to come over and "hang out"? I'm not that naive." Now he's telling everyone that I'm crazy and afraid of sex. I may be shy, quiet, and sometimes withdrawn, but I'm nowhere near afraid of sex. And I don't think turning him down makes me crazy. Boys are so freakin' stupid sometimes! I'm mad and sad. Oh well, I'm about to go and hang out with my friend. Maybe she can console me.

BTW, does anyone think I maybe overreacted?

I am so happy! And here's why. Okay. I B.S.'d all week, knowing that I had a big test coming up for my Business Administration class. Well, I didn't study until the night before the test. I also only studied for four hours. That's so not normal for me because I usually study for about 5-6 hours on one subject. Well anyways, I got in class yesterday morning and was dreading the test. When she put the test on our desks she told us we couldn't turn them over until she gave us the word. This only added to my anxiety. But when I turned the test over, I knew every friggin' thing on it!  And you wanna know the killer part? I don't even have a book for this class! I just study the notes that I take in class. Obviously, I take some damn good notes! Now, on to a less exciting topic...

I'm so sick of people giving me strife because I'm a girl that likes anime. Well, the real problem people seem to have is the fact that I'm a Black chick who likes anime. Big F'n Deal!! Anime is not made/intended for a certain race of people. And it's not everyone who has a problem with it; it's mainly Black people who give me shit for it.  Here's one scenario: My friend Rocky and I got in at around 3:00 the other morning. He asked if I was gonna go to my room and go to sleep (we live in a dormitory). I told him that I probably wouldn't go to sleep, that I would go up to my room and watch Bleach. This fat ass, nosey ass girl standing next to us was like, "What's Bleach?" So I told her that it is an anime series that I really like. Then her nosey ass asked me what anime is. When I told her that it's Japanese animation she asked, "Don't you know you're Black?" That pissed me off so badly that I couldn't even say anything. How dare she judge me because I watch anime?! Every time I think about that incident I get angry. I try to tell myself that it's just sheer ignorance, but sometimes I don't feel that ignorance is adequate justification. I freakin' hate that chick. The next time she asks me for help with her statistics homework, I shall give her no assistance whatsoever. Then to top it all off, she was the one to hold a diversity discussion on the dorms! What?! Are you kidding me?! I did not attend, for fear that I would bust her out in front of all those people (which probably would have been the right thing to do since she's such a hypocrite). And she's no the only person who does that, either. I don't understand why I have to fight and argue for the right to like what I like. I don't feel that I should have  to give anyone an explanation as to why I like the things that I do. Some people just get on my nerves. I'm just glad that my friends are so understanding. Plus, over half of them like anime and manga too, so I just fit right in. 

Oh, one more thing before I succumb to sleep. I have been reading the Qur'an. Very interesting stuff if you're religiously diverse. Not saying that you're a whole lot of different religions just mixed together, but if you like to study and/or read about other reiligions I would recommend it!

I am your everyday, average, T-shirt- and-jeans type of girl. But I have come to realize that I still take forever and a day to get dressed. If you were to see me, you would never in a million years think that it took me all of 45 minutes to an hour to get dressed. I am not really a girly girl, but at the same time I'm not a tomboy either. I just prefer comfort over all the lace, frills, and fluff. Give me some American Eagle jeans and throw me a vintage T-shirt and I'm good to go. Or so I thought. 

I'm obnoxious at times, and I can hang with the best of 'em when it comes to telling dirty jokes... but I'm still a girl. I'm so rock and roll, and I don't do my laundry every week (hey, in my defense: I am a college student), but I love to smell good. Vera Wang Princess is a must have for me! Oh, and I don't wear my dirty laundry if you were thinking that. I'll take sneakers and flip-flops over heels and (God forbid!) Ugg boots any day, but I like for my hair to look and smell good. And I love lip gloss just like the next girl and I love boys. I'm a chick!!! YESSSSS!!!!

Hmmm, who woulda guessed?